Ode to Damask

Source

Finding this blue and brown Damask from Michael Miller started my love affair with the pattern. I love Damask because of the duality in the tone -- old and modern at the same time. (To be honest, a lot about our wedding screams duality, which I can attribute to being a Gemini.) I wanted to incorporate this fabric somewhere into the wedding, but was a little hesitant. Damask is a very bold pattern , and I didn't want it to overpower other elements in the wedding. At first I wanted to make table runners, but then decided against it after seeing the centerpiece designs from my florist and realizing that the Damask would take away from the flowers. So, after much deliberation I thought," Why not drape Damask linens over the bar tables?" Perfect!

Source

Above is an inspiration for the bar tables. I bought this really beautiful Espresso Ribbon at Crate and Barrel when they were discounting all their Christmas gift wrap, and I found red tea candle holders at Hobby Lobby for $3.99 a piece. I think this will be a great way to give a little character to the cocktail/bar lounge.

My Own Personal Cary Grant

Too often, the focus of wedding attire is solely on what the bride will wear and not the groom. Like the bride, I think the groom’s attire has equal weight in revealing the groom's personality and setting the tone for the wedding. From a Hawaiian shirt and shorts at a beach wedding to a tux with a bowtie at a more formal wedding – anything is possible! Lately, Chris and I have been discussing his wedding attire.

Source

On one of our first dates, we went to this French restaurant in the Adams Morgan part of DC. I distinctly remember Chris wearing this very handsome blue dress shirt, and as he was dapperly leaning back in his chair the image of Cary Grant flashed in my mind. The icon of the charismatic, debonair man I can’t think of a better inspiration for Chris’ attire than Cary Grant. Not that I think brides and grooms have to matchy-matchy, but with my modern, old Hollywood look and Chris’ homage to Cary Grant I think the two are a perfect combination.

Source
Source

The best way to describe our overall wedding tone is rustic, elegance, which has the option of being either semi-formal or formal. With the groom’s attire, therefore, Chris has the option of a suit or tuxedo. I found these two images of Cary Grant, one in a suit and one in a tux. Which one do you like best? Let’s take a vote? Suit? Tux?

I HATE Being Sick!

For three days, I've been stuck inside my house trying to get over a nasty cold. I hate being sick, and I think my body is rebelling against me. It's telling me to slow down and not stress out over work, wedding, and foolish little things. It has bee a great little break, even though its been a lot of nose blowing and sinus pressure.

I am a BEE!

On Wednesday, I got an email saying that I had been accepted to be a Bee on the Weddingbee!

Now, I will be blogging as Miss. Cookie on that site. I will still be blogging on our site, but not as frequently. So, if you are bored at work, check it out!

The Office Wedding

SPOLIER ALERT! DO NOT READ THIS POST IF YOU ARE AN OFFICE FAN AND WANT A LITTLE SUPRISE!

Images via Perfect Bound

My honey is a huge Office Fan, so I decided to share these spoiler photos as it will be on this evening. Are Pam and Jim going to get married? I love watching their sweet romance! I guess we will just have to tune in.

Crate and Barrel

Ok, so I did say that Macy's was our final registry, but this last weekend we registered at Crate and Barrel. When thinking about places to register Crate and Barrel was on my short list, but it originally got cut in favor of Target, Bed Bath and Beyond, and Macy’s. I thought there was an unspoken limit to three wedding registries, but apparently there isn't. I've seen brides register for upwards of six or more, and depending on the number of guests that many registries might be necessary.

Even though we are anticipating less than 100 people to attend, our guest list is approximately 150 people. A bride should anticipate that 20% of your invitees will decline; however, with the number of out-of-town guests we are inviting I am realistically anticipating that we will have 40% of our invitees decline. Why am I anticipating that 40% of our guests decline? Because they have already told either myself or our parents that they will not be attending, but they would like to send a gift. With gas prices and the economy, many of our invitees just cannot afford to attend our wedding. I am not really disappointed in this fact - it's just the way it is - but I think it's very considerate of them to even send a gift. So, we thought it might be necessary to have one more place to register to give people more options.

Back to registering at Crate and Barrel. Unlike our previous registry experiences, we completed our Crate and Barrel registry in one hour. We knew what we wanted and scanned it. We stuck with non-seasonal items per the advice of the Crate and Barrel associate helping us -- which I think it absolutely necessary for this particular store as they rotate seasonal stock so often. It would be a big pain to have to re-register constantly because a majority of our registry items were discontinued. Also, we registered for the same set of knives, again. That makes three places were we have registered for the same knives. We really want a set of Wüsthof Gourmet knives, and registering at three places increases are chances of receiving a set.

Having completed four registries, I’d like to share of advice for those starting the registry process.
1. Take Inventory: Look around your home/apartment and ask yourselves: Where are we in our lives and what do we need? Kitchen gadgets? Furniture? Flatware? When my MOH got married right out of college, they moved from Montana to DC immediately following the wedding, which made an impact on their registry. They were at a place of transit in their lives, where as Chris and I are a little older and already own a home. Not only will answering these questions clarify your needs, but hopefully the conversation will happen before hitting the stores, thus saving you time.

2. Style: Register at places that fit your own personal style. If your not into registering at places like Target or Crate and Barrel, don’t! Many small, independent online stores now allow for couples to make registries or wish lists.

3. Number of Invitees + Number of Parties = Number of Registries: Like I said, I thought there was an unspoken rule of a three registry limit, but apparently there isn’t. If you are only inviting 50 people two places to register should be enough, but if you are inviting 500 people six or more registries might not even be enough. Also, when determining the number of places to register take into account the number of showers and engagement parties you will be having. I’m having two showers, so that is why we decided to add Crate and Barrel to the registry in order to give people more options.

4. Price Range and Store Options: Offer your invitees a wide variety of price ranges. With the economy the way it is many people are hunkering down on their finances, but would still love to give you a gift. In addition, maybe you’re like us and your invitee list is scattered throughout the county. Although the internet allows people to shop online without a store physically located in the state, not everyone is internet savvy. Pick a least one store that you know is located in state of your invitees.

5. Don’t be Afraid of Big Ticket Items: We love to cook and subsequently have a well stocked kitchen. Registering for kitchen gadgets meant upgrading or registering for unique items like a mini torch. But what we really need is furniture. Let’s face it furniture is expensive -- we don’t expect guests to purchase big, expensive pieces – so, we registered for smaller furniture items like a chair, bookshelves, a leather bench for our bedroom, and a wine cabinet that were moderately priced and would fit into our home. However, you can go sign-up at http://www.felicite.com/ and have guests contribute whatever amount they would like toward your big ticket item. When the total cost is met, the website places the order for you.

6. Register for the Same Item at Different Stores: Since we cook a lot the one item we really want is a set of Wüsthof Gourmet knives. In order to increase our chances of getting a set, we have registered for the same set at three different stores. Don’t worry about the possibility of receiving the same item, or even not getting it. I’ll explain more in advice #9 and #10.

7. Register for Open Stock and Sets: When registering for pans and knives consider registering for both Open Stock and Sets. For example, a set of Wüsthof Gourmet knives is $400, while one 6” Chef Knife is $100. Not only does it give a better price range for your invitees, you might end up getting an entire set by registering for open stock rather then not getting anything at all because no one wanted to pitch-in $400 for knives.

8. Update: Depending on the length of your engagement you should update your registry every season, and especially six weeks before your wedding. Items that you registered for in March might be discontinued by your wedding in September. Seasonal items are really tricky to register for because it is likely the item will be gone before your wedding. You don’t have to constantly stock your registry, but definitely check on it before the big day.


9. Spreading the Word: My fiancé and I differ on this piece of wedding etiquette, but I say do not put your registry on your invites. Many stores now give you will little slips of paper to announce your registry items. I am totally being a snob about this, but it’s kinda tacky. It is customary for the parents of the couple to pass the word onto the invitees about your registry. Although, I think if you have a wedding website, it is perfectly fine to post your registry stores there because it is meant as an information place for your guests.

10. 10% After the Wedding: Stores are now offering 10% off any item still on your registry after the wedding. Put items more items than your invitee list and that they probably won’t buy, but you intend to buy later. Also with gift cards, returned items, and the discount you might be able to cover the cost of that beautiful espresso wine cabinet that you really wanted.

11. Returning: Returning is inevitable. Your favorite aunt will forget to give your registry list while checking out at Target, therefore, the item doesn’t go off your registry, and subsequently your favorite uncle buys the same item. It’s going to happen. That is why you registered for more items then your invitee list. You’ll just return the item (hopefully they gave you a gift receipt) and get 10% off another item on your registry.

12. Give to a Good Cause: Your wedding is a great time to give to a charitable cause. As a nonprofit fundraiser, this is especially close to my heart. You can either have guests make a donation directly to the charity of your choice or guests can give when they purchase your registry gifts though the I Do Foundation. Go to the I Do Foundation’s website for more details on how you can give back to your community.

Make-up Trial

Back in November, I bought the bridesmaids dresses from Ann Taylor. As my future sister-in-law is my only bridesmaid to live in Denver, I went with her and my future mother-in-law to try them on. Afterward, we decided to do an impromptu make-up trial at MAC. At the time I was riding the fence about whether to hire a make-up artist or DIY, and going to the MAC counter helped. Here are some photos of the trial:

Me without any make-up

Kirsten, the lovely MAC make-up artist, apply the make-up

FSIL and me after the make-up trial sans lipstick

After going to the MAC store, I decided to DIY my make-up. Why? Kirsten did a fantastic job with my make-up, I loved my look! If I was having my wedding in Denver I would have hired her without any hesitations, but with my wedding in Breckenridge I don't want to pay for her travel expenses. There are plenty of spas/salons in Breckenridge, but they charge almost $200 and not in my budget. Many of the make-up artists I have talked with recommended hiring a professional, which they should as a salesperson, in order to apply enough make-up for the photographs. I do admit that your wedding day is the one of the most photographed days of your life, and if you don't feel comfortable applying make-up hire a professional, but if you do save yourself the money and DIY. With my background in theatre, I feel very confident to not only put on enough make-up but achieve my desired look.

What did you do for your make-up? Did you hire a professional or DIY?

What's in a Name?

"By any other name would smell as sweet;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,
And for that name which is no part of thee
Take all myself."

Act 2, Scene 2 Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare

So, what's in a name? For Romeo and Juliet, it was the entire reason that their love was forbidden. For me, it’s who I am!

Before meeting Chris I had a very strong mantra, I would not take my future husbands last name, period! I like my first, middle and last name. It’s me, it’s who I am, it’s my personality… A new name means a new identity, a death to my former self. I want to hold tight to the person I have become, and letting go of my name means ending the journey of my current self. So, when Chris asked me to take his last name, needless to say I had my hesitations.

Randomly one night the last name discussion was breached; would I consider taking Chris’ last name? Now, Chris has a lovely last name, very easy to pronounce -- no qualms about the name itself. Slight digression: What I appreciate about our relationship is our communication. Six month of long distance dating really allowed us to build our relationship on a strong communication foundation. We both listened to each others opinions about the last name– mine of my own identity and Chris’ of wanting to become a family. How can you argue with an argument like that? “Honey, I know your name means a lot to your identity, but it would mean a lot in symbolizing the beginning of a new family.” Now, I was facing an internal conundrum. I love Chris with all my heart and soul, and what a deeply profound way of symbolizing the start of our journey through life together then by changing my last name (Chris didn’t want to change his last name). However, I still wanted to retain my identity. Because I heard in his voice how much it would mean to him, a compromise was reached. I would indeed take his last name, but my maiden name would become my middle name. Now, I’ve written and said my “new” name out loud several times just to get used to it, but it will take a little while to adjust. With two out of three of my married bridesmaids keeping their maiden name as their middle name, I’ve realized this has become a very common practice among women today.

Did you or did you not keep or change your last name after you were married? Please, share your story?

Blue Crush

Remember my post I Heart Shoes...I searched high and low for a pair of blue shoes, and even though these shoes aren't Tiffany Blue, I finally found a pair of BLUE shoes from JCrew! At the outrageous price of $245 per pair, I don't think they fit into my budget; however, I am drooling over this blue clutch. At $98 it is still a bit out of my price range, but I do have a little less than 5 month until the wedding so I've got time to stock it until it goes on sale!

I Joined the Etsy Bandwagon!

I joined the Etsy bandwagon! For those of you who don’t know, Etsy is a fabulous online community to buy and sell everything handmade, and it is a great place to purchase unique wedding accessories at affordable prices. The plethora of one-of-a-kind merchandise can be a little overwhelming to search through, so I did a “Something Blue” search. I went to Etsy and typed “blue, wedding.” Here is just a handful of some of my favorites…


(from left to right)1. Brass Paper Clip, 2. Cyberoptix TieLab, 3. Lizbee Jewelry, 4. stacysdesigns88 5. Laurie’s Shop 6. Field and Sea 7. OriginalsByLynnette 8. Jennifer Rydin Designs 9. Sarah Ridley Letterpress 10. Dear Emma 11. MarlaJDesigns 12. Amrita Design

It's the Little Things

Last night, Chris surprised me with a massage. He had candles, romantic music, and apparently rose petals were in the works if I hadn't ruined the surprise just a little. As you can tell from my posts, I've been a little stressed out lately; it felt so nice to get pampered for an evening. It's the little things, like a surprise massage or putting away dishes after dinner, that make me fall in love with him more and more everyday. What little things does your boyfriend/girlfriend, fiancé, or spouse do for you?

Hello, my name is Brooke, and I am addicted to Coffee!

There, I have admitted it! I am a coffee addict. I have one cup of coffee every morning -- either a Tall Mocha (with whip) from Starbucks or just a plain old cup of jo. It's my ONE guilty pleasure in life (Ok, so maybe I have several guilty pleasures, but I have a special line item in my personal budget just for coffee). So, when I was deciding the colors for the wedding I knew the color of coffee (and chocolate) had to be one of my colors. However, I want to pay homage to this delightful roasted bean more than just using its hue, I want to incorporate its smell, as well!

My favorite part of making my own coffee at work is grinding the beans, which releases a wonderful bitter aroma that immediately wakes me up. I found this image while indulging in my daily digest of wedding blogs. (I need to be better at writing the sources down!) When I saw this image a light went on in my head, why not sprinkle coffee into candle holders and place them throughout the dining and cocktail rooms. Not only will the ambient light give a very romantic feel to our rustic location, but the slight aroma of coffee will be wafting in the mountain air. Did you incorporate an aroma into your wedding?

A slight digression – I was watching the TODAY! Show this morning (I know I am old) and they did a segment about the The Millrock Latte Art Championships . Apparently, creative rosettes and witty designs are a new art form! I love it! Goggle “Latte Art” to some amazing designs; it’s a great digression if you are bored at work!

Chris, I love you a Latte!

Chocolate or Truffles?

Chris and I love chocolate, especially truffles and hot chocolate! There have been so many chocolate related memories intertwined in our relationship: a romantic email about hot chocolate in the autumn, sipping homemade hot chocolate by a fire on a cold December night, making chocolate covered strawberries at Thanksgiving, handmaking truffles for Valentine's Day, sipping the best hot chocolate in the world in Brugge, Belgium, and the list goes on and on...I thought this would be a great favor for our wedding -- to share with our guests not only the deep love that we share for one another, but our love of all things chocolate. Now to my dilemma, should the favors be chocolates or truffles?

Favors are not a big line item on our budget -- about $100 maximum. I want them to be special, tasty, and not break the bank. My first idea was individually wrapped pieces of Cote d' Or chocolate from Belgium. When we traveled to Belgium last year, we visited the chocolate filled city of Brugge. We visited many chocolate shops and had the best cup of hot chocolate ever at Bar Chocolate (the menu boasted 300 different flavors of hot chocolate!). Cote d' Or is to Belgium as Hershey's is to the United States, except 100 times better. I also have a scrumptious homemade hot chocolate recipe, which uses vanilla bean, that I made for Chris on our first Christmas together. So, I was going to buy a 12 box case of 24 individually wrapped Cote d' Or "Lait" Mignonettes from World Wide Chocolate. Each guest would get three pieces with the hot chocolate recipe and the story of why it's important to us; however, the cost breaks my budget. The case is $99.00 alone. Now, add on "hot weather" shipping for $5.99 and the 2nd day air shipping of $32.95, which is required to ship to Colorado, and the cost becomes unjustifiable.

Idea number two: Truffles. I love to cook and Chris loves to eat, so I thought why not personalize the favors and make truffles. I have a pretty good truffle recipe that I made for Chris on our first Valentine's Day, why not make truffles. Most of the ingredients I have in my kitchen, my only concern is time and space. Truffles are a time intensive desert, and I don't know if I have enough space in my fridge to make the almost 300 of them. I also have this nightmare that they will melt in the hour and half drive to Breckenridge. Although, these handmade delicacies would add a very personal and handmade touch to the wedding. Plus, the favors (whatever is chosen) will double as escort cards!

Let’s take a vote! What favor would you prefer, chocolate or truffles?

Nickle and Dimed

The economy in the preverbal crapper and a wedding are not a good combination. Add on the rising cost of gas and food, and that means less money coming in and more money going out. As Uncle Sam will start depositing a nice little “economic stimulus” into the bank accounts of strapped Americans today -- in order for you to spend, spend, spend and boost the economy (which we will have to repay eventually) -- I decided to get my monies worth out of the $600 rebate check by deal hunting!

I hate to buy anything at retail price; I rarely buy anything that is not on sale. The only major expense that I bought at retail was my wedding dress, and if I had known that Anna Be was having a sample sale a few weeks later I probably would have bought it then. But I got my veils for 10% off because I bought it during the designer’s trunk show. Needless to say, there are deals out there to save money on any wedding related item, you just have to look or haggle!

Here is a list of what I saved on or have haggled for additional items so far:
1. Free Lift Tickets: When we toured Ten Mile Station we instantly knew that this was the place for our wedding. The views of the Ten Mile Range were just too good to pass-up. That being said, the minimum food and beverage price of $12,000 for a Saturday wedding is outrageous, and that doesn’t include rental fees or tax. Since Sunday is a few thousand dollars cheaper, we decided that Sunday was the day (besides all the Saturdays in September were already booked in November). In addition, we called the booking agent 30 minutes after the tour to reserve the date. While on the phone, and with the help of my future hubby I said, “Since we booked so quickly does that mean we get free lift tickets to Breckenridge?” Surprisingly, the booking agent said that wouldn’t be a problem, just to give her a weeks notice before we wanted to come up. In January, we got a fun day of skiing for free just because we asked!

2.Bridesmaid’s Dress: My mother very graciously offered to pay for the bridesmaid’s dresses; however, I didn’t want her to spend a fortune. I love the Ann Taylor Celebrations collection. Back in November, even before trying on dresses myself, I noticed that Ann Taylor was discontinuing their last Celebrations collection. Dresses that were normally $198.00 were being sold for $79.44. I loved the chocolate brown Chloe Dress and called all my bridesmaids to give me their sizes. Luckily, we have a Celebrations store right by where we live, so I bought all the dress off the rack. In addition, my mom signed-up for an Ann Taylor card and saved an additional 10%.

3. Shoes: Like I said in the post I Heart Shoes, I went to an outlet mall and found a silver pair of Cynthia Rowley shoes at Off Sax 5th Ave – normally over $200 I got them for $69. For my bridesmaids, I stocked the Ann Taylor site until the Alexa Bow Sandal, which retailed at $108, went on sale for $54.44. One of my bridesmaids bought the shoe for $51.00 (including tax and shipping) by using a coupon from Retail Me Not.

4. Veils: I bought my veils at 10% during the designer’s trunk show.

5.Table Runner Fabric: My mother bought over 10 yards of blue linen at Joann Fabrics for 50% during a sale. Also, she didn’t pay any sales tax because she bought it while visiting my brothers in Montana!

6. Photographer: My mother has worked with our photographer for several events at her church. I had her call him first to see what deal we could get. Although we are getting a basic package, it includes 8 hours of photography, engagement session, no additional travel expenses, and $200 worth of prints for $1,900.

7. Honeymoon: We are booking our honeymoon through Sun Trips. For air and hotel at an all inclusive resort in Puetro Vallarta, Mexico for less than $2,000 for the entire 7 night vacation!

For all my other vendors I didn’t get a “deal” per se, but I did shop around for the best value. What type of deals did you get for you wedding? Do you have any tips to pass along on how to save money on wedding stuff?

Monsoon Wedding

Apparently, the weather forecast calls for a very rainy day tomorrow in Colorado. I don't know a better way to spend a deary Saturday then to be curled-up in Chris' arms with a cup of hot coco and a great movie. At the advice of my matron-of-honor (MOH), I am kicking the pre-wedding syndrome (which is happily fading away!) with a movie weekend. Since this is a blog about planning a wedding and because this is one of my MOH's favorite films, I decided to start with Mira Nair's Monsoon Wedding. I love this film! Even though the film is set in India and about an arranged marriage, the characters and plot transcend cultures to reveal that love and marriage is a universal human experience. Put it on your Netflix queue, you won't regret it! Have a happy weekend!

Pre-Wedding Syndrome

I've discovered a new affliction. It's called Pre-Wedding Syndrome, PWS for short. Similar to Pre-Menstrual Syndrome or PMS, PWS causes the same symptoms: moodiness, bloating, uncontrollable urges to cry, loss of appetite, weight gain, and depressive tendencies. These symptoms are brought on by a number of factors including, but not limited to: obsessive compulsive bridal blog reading, a Martha Stewart attention to detail, a mini veil crisis, not enough sleep, working two jobs stress, and budget worries. It leads to a daily Grande Mocha from Strarbucks addiction, deadly! Thankfully, Chris loves me enough to put-up with this brief moment of insanity!

So, in order to ward-off the affects of this devastating syndrome, I decided to take a little break yesterday and smell the Cherry Blossoms. Spring has sprung in Colorado, and our Cherry Blossom Tree in the backyard is blooming. The flowers don't smell like roses, but the visual is stunning. I snipped a few blossoms and put them in a beautiful earthware bowl on our kitchen table. Here are a few photos I took yesterday of the blossoms.

The stress of wedding, work (both jobs), and life has put me into a really weird funk. I have a million tasks that need to be accomplished in the next month, and not enought time and energy to do them all. I need a moment to breath. Please, tell me I am not alone. Are there any brides that experienced PWS before their wedding? And what were your symptoms?

The Veil that I Bought and Then Returned

On Friday during my lunch break, I had an appointment with the fabulous veil designer Sara Gabriel during her trunk show at my bridal salon Anna Be to decide on my veil. Sara was wonderful -- bubbly, energetic, and highly creative. It was so much fun to try on veils and play dress-up, and the best part was that I got 10% off if I bought my veil that day. During the entire session she made me feel at ease, but I think the stress of the wedding and day-to-day life finally exploded into a bout of indecisiveness -- I like to call it my very bridal moment.

What excited me most about the day was that I could try on my dress while trying on veils. When I arrived at Anna Be, Stacy, who helped me when I found my dress, informed me that my dress sample had recently been sold at their sample sale, but they had an Augusta Jones dress similar to mine. Although the top was similar, the bottom was not even close. I have a trumpet skirt and this was a pure A-line. I was incredibly disappointment!

Just to give you an idea of my bridal attire theme, I am going for a modern, old Hollywood look -- simple, yet very elegant.

When we started the session, I told Sara that I wanted to play around with long and short veils. She started me off in a long cathedral length veil. (A veil is considered cathedral if it is 108".)


This veil was incredibly beautiful and dramatic, but I didn't like the embroidery. I like very clean, simple lines and not a lot of heavy beading or embroidery. I could have taken off the embroidery if I wanted to, but this veil just didn't feel like me. Here is a photo of the side.


Because my dress has lines that are cut on the bias, Sara suggested that I go with a more tiered look to the veil to complement those lines. We tried on a shorter elbow length version of this veil, along with the cathedral length. Unfortunately, I don't have any photos of the elbow length, but here is the cathedral.

It is very dramatic, and I thought with a 20' walk down the aisle it would look fabulous. So I bought it, with much hesitation. I felt caged in with the veil. My dress has a beautiful back, which is one of the reasons why I bought it. After seeing these photos, you can barely see the back on this dress let alone on mine. For some reason, I had a hard time visualizing my dress with any veil. I should have listened to my inner monologue, which was saying try on more shorter veils, but because it was during my lunch hour I was in a bit of a time crunch and made a hasty decision, which I regretted 15 minutes later (More to come about returning the veil later.) I don't know what I was thinking.

I do know what I was thinking when it came to the reception veil. According to Sarah, the bridal trend currently is to have a veil for the ceremony and one for the reception. I really wanted a more classic veil for the ceremony, but I love the look of French netting. So, I decided to buy a French netting piece for the reception. I love it. It reminds me of old, Hollywood with the flower in the middle combined with British Ascot in the feathers. (I secretly long to be British!)

Like I said, I bought the cathedral length veil along with the French netting piece. I got in my car and headed back to work. While in my car the veil crisis began. First, came the sticker shock. For custom made pieces, about $100 per piece I think is well worth it; however, the cathedral length was $200 plus. Now, add on the French netting and slight customizations, and the price tag was $500. I can't believe I even contemplated spending that much money on my veil. After, the sticker shock came buyer’s remorse. I had tried on the “Anna” veil when I bought my dress, which I loved. It was elbow length with a pencil edge. But I got caught-up in the drama of the cathedral veil that I completely forgot to ask about the “Anna” veil, which I had tried on four months ago. Also, the veil that I love was straight across and not tiered like Sara suggested.

I started calling all my bridesmaids to get opinions on what I should do. Stacy called me back first, and even though she had not even seen any of the veils, she suggested I go with the shorter veil. When Katie called me back she made two fabulous points. First, since my wedding is outside, the cathedral length would get dirty immediately, and second, with all the details on the back and side they would be hidden in a cathedral veil. Her opinion, go with the shorter veil. The first words out of my mom's mouth was, "What were you thinking, girl. You call them right now and change it." I couldn't call them, I was too emotional. I was having a very bridal moment. So, I decided to go back to Anna Be, with my mom, on Saturday and change to the elbow length veil.

I was very hesitant going back to Anna Be. Maybe they would argue with me and say I couldn't change it. I remember Sara telling me over and over again that I could change my mind, but what if they reneged on that promise? I would be stuck with a veil that I hated. With my mom by my side for extra support, I returned to Anna Be and spoke with Sara herself. To my surprise, Sara was very gracious. Apparently, I wasn't the only bride to reconsider her veil. Even though it wasn't tiered, Sara told me that I should get the veil that made me happy. My pocketbook was a lot happier with me too, as the new veil was significantly less money. So, I went with the Anna veil with the pencil edge. Crisis diverted.

I don't have any photos of the "Anna" veil, so you will just have to wait until the wedding.

Becoming a New Family -- My Paternal Grandparents

Our pastor, Todd Schmidt, loaned us a book of wedding ceremony traditions and wording for us to think about our ceremony. We decided the opening statement should say, "Marriage is a relationship entered into thoughtfully, reverently, and with gratitude for the past and hope for the future. Today Brooke and Christopher leave the homes of their childhood and become a new family." I always thought of my family as my mother, father, brothers, and grandparents, but until I read those words did I realize that Chris was also going to be my family. So, I decided to honor the moments when our relatives decided to become new families by placing photographs of their wedding day by our guest book. Also, I decided to share the stories of our parents and grandparents on my blog to show my gratitude for the past. Today, I want to share the story of my paternal grandparents, Henry and Alice Jackson.

As recounted by my father:
In 1940, my Grandmother Alice and her sister Bernice rode a train from Wilston, North Dakota to Great Falls, Montana go shopping. After shopping, they grabbed a bit to eat a Goodman's Saloon where they met two gentlemen, Henry and Mike. My Grandmother Alice took a fancy to my Grandfather Henry, one thing lead to another and they were married in 1941. The photo above is not really from their wedding day, but is considered by my family to be their wedding picture. (Side Note: My grandmother's sister Bernice married Mike a few years later). They had six children: Lyle, my father Dale, Betty, Joyce, Bev, and Laurie. My grandfather (who looks exactly like my father) worked in the General Mills flour mill and my grandmother a homemaker. My grandfather passed away in 1983, a year after I was born, of lung cancer. My grandmother still lives in Great Falls in the house where my father grew-up, and now has twelve grandchildren (including myself) and nine great grandchildren.

The Marriage Penalty

It's TAX DAY! So, in order to celebrate this festive day when the government takes your hard earned money, I decided to enlist the trusty help of my wonderful soon-to-be husband and pick his financial brain about taxes after you get married. Here what you need to know about "The Marriage Penalty." Enjoy!

Weddings. What’s not to love about weddings? It is a time when we are surrounded by friends and family. The bride gets to live the dream she had as a little girl. She gets to dress-up and create a magical wonderland fit for a princess. She and her groom have the world in front of them to stand up and profess their love to all. Then arm-in-arm, hand-in-hand they stroll down the aisle to live happily ever after…

…That is until tax time. Everybody loves marriage, especially the government. Now why does the government like marriage? The answer is simple: money. Wait a minute; isn’t marriage supposed to save you money? The answer is, in most cases, no.

Certainly living together saves you money. Less rent (or mortgage), less utilities, and less food are all great ways to save money when you combine your households. It may even come with less time spent on housework (at least for one of the lucky cohabiters). But does marriage save you money? Let’s take a look at the tax structure, shall we?

Let’s say you are a low income earner and make the maximum adjusted gross income (after deductions) of the first 2007 tax year tier. You’d be making $7,825 per year and taxed on 10% of that income which is $782.50. And say your potential spouse makes the same amount, thereby doubling your income to $15,650. How does this affect your taxes? Let’s take a look at the table. It just so happens that the top of the first tier for married couples is $15,650, the same as if you were to double the single tier, which means the same taxes. No problem right? Well, no problem if you both don’t have deductions, which we’ll talk about a little later.

Now let’s take a look at the next tier. The top of the second single tier is $31,850 and for married couples $63,700. Still double; so far, so good. Third tier: single - $77,100, married - $128,500. Wait a minute! If you double $77,100 it should give you $154,200, not $128,500. Where did that extra $25,700 of taxable income go? Well that, my friends, is where the marriage penalty begins. Instead of taxing you at the bargain rate of 25% on the entire third tier income for singles and doubling it, it decreases that spread by $25,700. Which means your paying the low, low rate of 28% on $25,700 ($7,196) instead of the 25% rate ($6,425) or 3% more ($771). If you had both earned identical amounts and stayed single, you’d be better off. And it gets worse the more you make. The fourth tier for single is $160,850, couples $195,850 a $35,000 spread and so on as you move up the ladder.

Not fair? You bet your sweet bippy it’s not fair. But hold on to your hats, we’re not done with this crazy ride yet. Remember when I spoke of deductions. Well, here’s the skinny on that. Typically, you will get the larger of the standard deduction set by the government or your itemized deductions. Generally, if you don’t have a mortgage or a business, you don’t need to worry about itemized deductions. However, if you do own a home: beware! In 2008 your itemized deduction per person is $5,450. Luckily, it stays the same if you’re married and each person gets their standard deduction and, when combined, equals $10,900. That’s $10,900 of non-taxable income we’re talking about here. So let’s say one of your lucky bride or groom to be owns a residence. The mortgage interest, property taxes, and other deductible expenses would be used to offset their income. Let’s say the bride owns the home and has $15,000 in deductible expenses ($15,000 less income she’s taxed on). The groom-to-be, who is cohabiting with the bride-to-be, doesn’t own a residence and gets his standard deduction of $5,450. Added together ($15,000 plus $5,450) gives you $20,450 of income that is not taxable. Sweet! But here comes the sour: when you get married, say goodbye to the groom’s $5,450 deduction. Floosh, down the drain. As a married couple, because you hypothetically share resources, you also share your itemized deductions. Your deduction has now been reduced to the $15,000 plus the minor deductions the groom has. Hence, you now pay taxes on an additional $5,450. This gets even worse if you both own a home, because now you can only claim one residence as a deduction, not two.

What a deal. You get married and you get bumped into a higher tax tier and get deductions taken away. No wonder the government encourages this system.

Now there are some situations where it is beneficial, such as when you have one very high earner and one that earns little to none. This widens the taxable tiers and includes more of the higher income earner’s wages in a lower bracket. Of course, you still have the deduction issue.

Now why not file as married filing separately? No luck. They’ve already altered your tiers to the married levels and, in some cases, you can’t take as many deductions or credits.

So what does this all mean? Well, anecdotally, love comes with sacrifice. And to still marry someone knowing the financial burden of the wedding and the additional taxes tacked on for the remaining years of your financial life, must mean that you really do love that person. So walk down that aisle knowing that every step you take is cash dropping out of your pocket with the dutiful IRS is sweeping it up behind you. Happy tax day, you crazy lovebirds!

I Heart Shoes

My favorite Sex and the City episode is I Heart NY during Season 4. Not only do I love the scene where Carrie and Big are "twisting" to Mancini's Moon River, but this moment (above) where Carried spies a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes to buy for her date with Mr. Big. Remembering this episode reminds me about my own experience buying bridal shoes!

When I began my search, I had a clear, distinct idea of the perfect shoes: blue peep toes with a covered heel that I could wear again. However, the search for the perfect pair of blue shoes was elusive. I searched high and low, but alas, I found only shoes in the wrong color or out of my price range. For example, these beautiful blue Prada shoes from (below) Little Winter Bride.

So, I turned to Sex and the City for some inspiration. In the episode Woman's Rights to Shoes, Carrie gets a pair of Manolo Blahnick D'Orsay shoes stolen from a party. Although not blue, the real shoes were the exact style I was looking for, and fortunatly, Dyables had made a rip off of the shoes that I could dye blue for $100.

Neiman Marcus

Neiman Marcus

Bridal Shoes

Unfortunately, I tried the shoes on at a local mall, and instantly new that I could not dance the away in these shoes. I was so disappointed! They were my perfect shoes, but I could not sacrifice style for comfort. However, fate had something else in store for my shoes. I decided to pop into Off Sax 5th Avenue while I was at the mall on a whim, and low and behold I found these beautiful silver pair of Cynthia Rowley peep toe slingbacks for $69 that were super comfortable. Although not blue and not the exact style, the lining and soles of the shoes is a beautiful Tiffany blue, and I can wear them after the wedding. Even though I didn’t get the exact shoes that I wanted, I am satisfied with my decision!

I cannot have a post about Sex and the City without plugging the new movie coming out very soon! Enjoy the trailer.